


Never Ever

by HintehDehPengu



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Countries Using Human Names, Jealousy, Other, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 17:19:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5257049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HintehDehPengu/pseuds/HintehDehPengu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur and Alfred are chatting, with Matthew in the background not being noticed, about Arthur's month or so relationship with Francis. Flashbacks ensue, and Arthur begins to regret even talking about it.</p><p>(Note: I don't watch Hetalia anymore, so don't expect any other Hetalia fics on my page :p Sorry)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. FrUK You, Alfred!

**Author's Note:**

> I recently started watching Hetalia, and I'm obsessed now. Sorry if anything is inaccurate or something.
> 
> AND I KNOW!!! I usually do Yogscast fanfictions, but I decided; why not have some Hetalia every now and again?
> 
> Please enjoy anyways.
> 
> Oh, also. This is partially based off of some things I shall link now:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSpUPtFC6ck  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEkCaRnW2YE

"Dude, let's just talk about your relationship with Francis for a moment! How was that, even?!" Alfred pushed Arthur to talk about this all the time. Arthur exhaled, sharply. "You're such a wanker! You know I don't want to talk about that." he blushed slightly. "Yeah, Alfred. Maybe Arthur doesn't want to talk about Francis because there's still some romance-" Arthur ran up to him, and began strangling him. "Get off! Get off!!" Matthew struggled. "Do not say I still have feelings for Francis! I do NOT!" Arthur pushed Matthew down to the floor. "Why are you even here, Matthew?" Alfred gritted his teeth. Matthew quickly ran out, so he wouldn't make anymore comments. Arthur sighed, and sat back down. Alfred adjusted his glasses. "Come on, Arthur. You have to tell me one day soon! Can't keep it a secret for the rest of your life." he grinned. "Fine! Fine!! I suppose I could tell you. That's if nobody else finds out." Arthur sighed, sipping some of his tea. Alfred nodded. "You can tell me anything, Arthur. We promised that to each other weeks ago." he smiled. "Well, uh. You know how the relationship started, hm? I woke up in his bed..." Arthur began.

_I remember feeling somebody warm against me... I couldn't tell who it was, though. I was too sleepy to see. But I sat up, and fumbled around next to me. I remember feeling something that felt... rubbery. I rubbed my eyes, and I could see a little better. I reached for the lamp switch, and what I saw on the bedside unit was... horrifying. A used condom. I remember thinking what it was doing there. I turned to my left, and shook whoever it was next to me. They turned over, and my mouth dropped open when I saw. "Hello, Arthur. Did you sleep well, hon?" he said. I couldn't speak. I felt oddly creeped out, and... well. Just creeped out. "Francis, what am I doing in your bed?!" I managed to ask. "Well, er. You got really drunk after we had a party at Ludwig's house, so I carried you back here. You ended up asking me to..." Francis seemed like he couldn't say what he wanted to, which confused me. Usually he's one to talk about that kind of thing. He simply pointed to the used condom. "We had sex?!" I asked him, shocked. He nodded, sheepishly. I simply laid back, and exhaled long and hard. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them Francis was out of bed. I realised he didn't have any clothes on, so I got a full moon that morning... "Francis, can you at least put some clothes on?" I said, shielding my eyes. "But, Arthur. You know I only put clothes on when I'm leaving the house." he pouted. I sighed, uncovering my eyes. I, too, got out of bed. Then I realised I was completely naked too. I bit my lip, in embarrassment. Francis simply laughed at me. "It's about time you showed me sober." he had said. I remember laughing with him, and it escalated from there. I had to literally beg him to put clothes on, and he did. He brought me downstairs, and I was forced to try some of his cooking... since he wouldn't let me anywhere near the kitchen. It wasn't the best, but I liked it. I remember leaving, and Francis kissing me goodbye. I walked home, feeling super awkward about the whole thing._

 

Arthur finished, and memories came flooding back. "Wow. So, how did you exactly get together? Did he ask you, or did you ask him?" Alfred asked. Arthur wasn't replying, and was just staring into his cup of tea. "Dude? Duuude?" Alfred poked him, trying to get attention. "I asked him, okay?!" Arthur bit his lip. "Woah, okay dude. Chill out. I'm gonna get a cola." Alfred stood up, walking calmly to his kitchen. He saw Matthew, drinking maple syrup out of the bottle. "Why did you bring that stuff into my house?" Alfred stood, crossing his arms. "Hey, hey. Don't be hating, eh?" Matthew pouted, setting down the bottle. Alfred took the bottle, and threw it into the trash. "Hey! I was drinking that!" Matthew complained. "Tough. Now get out of my house or don't expect to be noticed at the next conference." Alfred rolled his eyes. Matthew ran out, passing Arthur as he did so. "Hold on, Matthew." Arthur called. He made his way back in. "What?" he sighed. "If you happen to see Francis, tell him I said hi." Arthur bit his lip. "Is the blood rushing to somewhere else?" Matthew jeered. "Get out and just do it, you bloody git!" Arthur growled, and Matthew ran out. Alfred came back in. "Was he annoying you?" he asked. Arthur shook his head, taking another sip of his tea. "Okay, good." Alfred grinned, setting his cola down on the table.

 

Meanwhile, Francis was alone in his house. Just him... and a can of deodrant.

_Hey, boy you never had much game_

_Thought I needed to upgrade_

_So I went and walked away way way_

 

_Now, I see you've been hanging out_

_With that other guy in town_

_Looking like a pair of clowns clowns clowns_

  
_Remember all the things that you and I did first?_   
_And now you're doing them with him_

_Remember all the things that you and I did first?_

_You got me, got me like this_

 

_And now you're taking him to every restaurant_

_And everywhere we went, come on!_

_And now you're taking him to every restaurant_

_You got me, got me like this_

 

He finished, and then turned round to see Italy standing there. "Hello, Francis!" he grinned. "Honhonhon, hello Feliciano!" Francis smiled, and Feliciano ran to hug him. "Who were you singing about?" he asked. Francis sighed. "Arthur and Alfred." Feliciano nodded. "Can I cook some pasta in your kitchen, please?!" he asked. "Sure, why not. I'll just... be in the lounge." Francis sighed, feeling a little down. "Big brother Francis, what is wrong?" Feliciano asked, following him to the lounge. "I just miss Arthur." Francis sighed. "I understand, Francis! I miss Mr. Germany, just like you miss Mr. England!" Feliciano grinned. "You always cheer me up, Feliciano." Francis smiled, relaxing a little. "Can I go make pasta now, big brother??" Feliciano seemed very excited. "Yes, yes you can." Francis smiled.


	2. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alfred and Matthew are watching TV for a while, until they decide it's time to hit bed. But Alfred walks in on something very unexpected...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Finally another chapter! I spent a while trying to figure out where to have this story go, and I'm still figuring it out.
> 
> Next Update Day: Tuesday 8th December

That night, Arthur was first to go to bed. Which left Alfred downstairs, sitting on his couch with his feet up. He was watching a TV show that Arthur liked to watch often. Some random TV show about people arguing because they aren't the mother or something like that. "Is she the mother, though???" Matthew called. He, too, was watching from the background. "I have no idea, Matthew." Alfred bit his lip, really getting into it. "I think she's the mother. But that baby is SO cute!!" Matthew joined Alfred on the couch. "You're serious?! She's not the mother! That other woman is." Alfred gasped. "That's not a woman, that's a man!" Matthew realised. "Okay, that's creepy dude!" Alfred switched the TV off, darkening the room a little. He hadn't bothered to put any lights on. "Shouldn't you be leaving now, bro?" he asked. Matthew shrugged. "I'm going to steal all your maple syrup then I'll go." he grinned. "Fine." Alfred sighed, stumbling around the room to find the light switch. He found it, and switched it on. He looked back, and Matthew was already gone. He sighed, and turned the light off again. He stumbled his way to the stairs, which he managed to find okay. He walked up them, and used the light coming from his room to guide himself. He made it, and stumbled in. Arthur was in bed, rolling from side to side. He clearly hadn't been able to sleep. "Yo, Arthur. What's up?" Alfred asked, taking off his shirt. "Francis called..." Arthur spat out, out of nowhere. Alfred looked at him. "Francis called?" he asked, going to sit on the bed. Arthur nodded, slowly. "What did he have to say?" Alfred was approaching this like it was a friendly phone call. "He was crying." Arthur closed his eyes, and laid back. "He was crying? About what?" Alfred asked, shaking Arthur. "I don't want to talk about it." he said, turning on his side. Alfred nodded slowly, and slithered under the sheets. He laid there, for a moment. "Night, Arthur." he said, before turning the lamp off and trying to fall asleep.

 

Alfred woke up the next morning to shouting from downstairs. He thought it must be Matthew getting into a fight. He turned to see if Arthur was awake. He must've been, since he wasn't in bed. He listened closer to the shouting... oh. He quickly got out of bed, not remembering to put a shirt on, and ran downstairs. "Arthur?!" he called, running as fast as he could. "Arthur, you know I love you hon?" Francis blushed. "Get out, Francis! We're never getting back together, like, ever." Arthur tried pushing him toward the door. "You two!" Alfred gritted his teeth. "Oh, hello Alfred." Francis stood, awkwardly. "Why are you acting like you wouldn't see me in my own home, dude?" Alfred stared him down. "In fact, I was just leaving! I shall see you two later, hon?" Francis began running out, slamming the door behind him. "Frog..." Arthur muttered, before making his way into the kitchen. Alfred sighed, walking back upstairs to get a shirt on.

Francis just ran, and didn't stop running. He ducked into a small alleyway, and stood against the wall. He slid down, and ended up crying into his hands. "Big brother Francis? What's wrong?" Feliciano tapped his shoulder. "Arthur hates me." Francis sobbed. "Mr. England doesn't hate you, Francis." Feliciano sat down with him. "Yes, he does. You have no idea how bad it hurts when he rejects me." Francis looked up. "I understand, Mr. France." Feliciano smiled. "Just remember all the good times you had with him!" he patted Francis on the back. "That makes it worse!" Francis cried even harder, his tears were creating a puddle on the floor. "Sorry, Mr. France." Feliciano put his arm around him. A head poked around the corner. "Ah, Italy. I suppose you're busy, and I should just go..." the taller man sighed. Feliciano immediately jumped up. "No, Germany! Don't go!!!" he hugged Ludwig tight. "I suppose I could stay." Ludwig forced a cough. "Yaay! Let's go make pasta, big brother Francis!!" Feliciano attempted to pull Francis up, but he wouldn't budge. "I'm not leaving until I get revenge on that so called 'hero'." he huffed, and crossed his arms. "Guess it's just us, Italy." Ludwig didn't like using Feliciano's real name, as it was too hard to pronounce and, to him, was a waste of time. The couple walked off. "Can I hold your hand, Mr. Germany?" Feliciano asked. "..Yes, I suppose so." he replied. Francis wondered why Ludwig was being nicer to Feliciano for once. He stared as the couple walked, hand in hand, down the road... He sighed, imagining that they were him and Arthur...

"Hey, frog. What are you doing daydreaming in an alleyway?" Arthur stood, leaning up against a wall. "Huh?!" Francis shook himself out of his daydream, and looked up at Arthur. "O-oh. I'm sorry. I look terrible. Forgive me, mon cheri." he sniffled, before noticing that Arthur did his hair. "Oh, Angleterre. That hairstyle suits you, hon?" he smiled. Arthur sighed. "I didn't do my hair just for you, okay? Stop trying to get back with me. It's never going to work." he huffed, and crossed his arms. "I shall get revenge on that Amerique! For stealing my everything!" Francis, too, crossed his arms. "He didn't steal your virginity, did he? No. Nobody knows who took it, because you've hit up everyone!" Arthur shouted. Francis stood up, and raised his hand to slap him. He... couldn't. "Trying to do something?" Arthur stared him right in the eye. "Stop, Arthur! You really hurt my feelings, hon." Francis sniffled. "What, like I used to hurt you in b-" Arthur was interrupted by a tap of the shoulder. "Why are you talking to Francis?" Matthew asked. "Um." Arthur swallowed a ball of spit. "Alfred won't like that..." Matthew spoke quietly, but still quite seriously. "You can't tell him a bunch of fibs!" Arthur raised his voice. "Oh, I'll rip his head off if he tells!" Francis growled. Matthew immediately ran the way he came, running the opposite direction to Alfred's house. Arthur sighed in relief. "I never thought I'd say this again but... Thanks Francis." he forced a smile. "Anything for you, mon cheri." Francis puckered his lips, as if expecting to be kissed. "You're joking." Arthur laughed slightly. "Of course, mon cheri. I am over it!" Francis lied, laughing nervously. "Oh, Francis. I do miss these small chats we had every once in a while." Arthur let out another long sigh. "You... miss it?" Francis took a moment to process what he had just said. "Yes, Francis. I really do miss it." Arthur smiled. Not a forced smile this time, a smile that Francis would always remember. Francis blushed a little. "Oh, Angleterre. You really do make me blush, hon!" he danced around a little. "Your baguette is rising. It's been in the oven a while." Arthur joked, winking at Francis. This made him blush even more, and sent the blood running down to his... baguette. He looked down, and attempted to cover it with his hands. "Oh, Francis. You'll never change." Arthur shook his head. Francis was, surprisingly, finding this awkward. He was thinking of the worst possible scenario... Alfred will come walking over and see his clear man problem. Luckily, nothing like this happened and the pair talked together for a while.

 

"Man, where is Arthur? He's been gone all day!" Alfred spoke to himself. He sighed, and decided to try and find him. He got up, and walked out the door. He strolled down the path, calling Arthur's name. Arthur heard this, and so did Francis. "Francis, I'm afraid I have to go. I can't be seen with you. It really has been nice talking to you... A proper conversation." he confessed. "It has been nice, Angleterre. Let's do it again some other time, hon?" Francis smiled. Arthur nodded, and quickly darted out of the alleyway.

He made his way toward Alfred, who ran up to him and hugged him tight. "I thought you'd run away!" Alfred joked. "Of course not, you old fart. I'd never run away." Arthur sighed. "I am not old! I'm young and full of life." Alfred crossed his arms, and pouted. "I'm joking, you wanker. Come on, let's get home." Arthur linked his hand with Alfred's, and the couple trudged up the path. They were about halfway when Alfred remembered something. "We're having a party tomorrow! I forgot about that." he smirked. "Who's invited?" Arthur asked. "The list is back home, I'll go get it when we get in." Alfred began jogging back. Arthur didn't have another choice, so he jogged with him.

When they finally got back, Alfred opened drawer after drawer trying to find his notepad. "Are you sure it's not on the desk?" Arthur asked. "I'm certain!" Alfred called back. "I'll go check." Arthur sighed, running into the study. A few moments later, he came running out. "Guess what I found on the desk!!" Arthur said, in a sarcastic British tone. "The notepad?" Alfred asked. He nodded, throwing it to him. "Thanks, dude." Alfred flipped it open, trying to find the right page. He finally found it, and showed it to Arthur.

GUEST LIST, IF YOU'RE NOT ON IT DON'T COME

-Alfred, the HOST and the HERO

-Arthur, the hosts sexy boyfriend and the tea maker

-Ivan, the bartender with lots of vodka

-Roderich, our pianist and violinist.

-Ludwig, I can't really say anything bad about him cause he'd kill me :(

-Feliciano, the crybaby coward who can make the pasta

-Lovino, the other coward who will probably bring Antonio

-Antonio, if Lovino brings him that is hahaha

-Gilbert, because he's awesome I guess?

-Matthew, the hosts BRO

Arthur studied the list. "This seems fun, but. Why didn't you invite Francis?" he gulped. "Do you want him to get you drunk so he can have sex with you again?! No!" Alfred snatched back the list. Arthur opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it. Alfred simply sat down on the couch, and turned on the TV. Arthur silently made his way upstairs, and into the bedroom. He scrambled to find his phone. When he did, he immediately dialled Francis' number.

"Oh, Angleterre? This is a surprise." Francis laughed.

"Listen. Francis, forget all that stuff I said when we broke up. I love you." Arthur sniffled.

There was a moment of silence. "You're serious?" Francis' voice was different somehow, a sense of hope possibly?

"Yes, Francis. I love you. But, there's just one problem." Arthur sighed, biting his lip. He didn't want to have to confess this, but he had to...

"What is the problem, Arthur? Is it how terrible I looked today? I am so sorry-" Francis was cut off by Arthur.

"I love you both. I love you and Alfred." he said, letting out a long exhale.

There was another moment of silence. "But who do you want to be with?" Francis asked.

"I don't know, I feel like I'm better alone for a while." Arthur sighed.

"We can hang out tomorrow evening, oui?" Francis said.

"Alfred's throwing a party tomorrow evening, um... you're not invited." Arthur sniffled.

"I'm... not invited?" Francis sniffled.

"Francis, I didn't decide it. If I decided it, you would've been invited." Arthur tried his best to keep Francis from having a meltdown.

"I'll show that Amerique who's boss! Expect to see me tomorrow evening. I'll show up to that party, and you must help me sneak in!" Francis huffed.

Arthur bit his lip. He wanted Francis there, but... he didn't want to upset Alfred. After a while of contemplating, he replied. "Okay."

Francis got excited at the end of the phone. "We're going to have the best time tomorrow, mon cheri! A time like we haven't had for a while!"

Arthur laughed. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Angleterre!" Francis hung up.

Arthur sighed, and laid back on the bed. He wasn't surprised when he saw someone standing at the door, with his arms crossed. "Who were you talking to?" Alfred asked. "Oh, I was discussing what kind of music Roderich should play with Gilbert!" Arthur lied. "Sweet! I need to go do some shopping for snacks and stuff. Wanna come with?" Alfred grinned. How could Arthur say no to a face like that? "Yes, of course." he got up. 


	3. Cheating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alfred takes Arthur out shopping, but he soon finds out there's something going on between Arthur and a certain frogman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been reading more Hetalia fics lately, and I think I'm getting better at writing them. I don't know, though.

"Why do they always stuff the scones to the back of every shelf in every store?!" Arthur complained, scrambling to find the scones. "Dude, we're in America. You gotta get used to that kinda thing!" Alfred laughed, studying the shelves to find stuff he liked. "FINALLY!" Arthur shouted, pulling out about 16 packs of scones. "You're paying for those." Alfred made a face, before running to find the frozen food isle. Arthur tried his best to keep up with him, but to no avail. Alfred had already grabbed LOADS of party snacks. Especially the curly fries. You cannot have a party without those! "Do we need this much for the party?" Arthur asked. "No. Half of it is for me, half of it is for the party." Alfred grinned. "And you wonder why the scale says you're unhealthy." Arthur tutted, taking down five boxes of teabags from the shelf. "And you wonder why you piss so much." Alfred said, looking around to find something to put the attention on. Arthur slowly rotated his head to face Alfred. "What did you say?" he asked, eye twitching. "I said you drink so much tea, you piss so much!" Alfred said, before Arthur simply sighed. He glanced down to the phone in his hand. Francis was calling... "Hey, um. I need to take this call-" Arthur began. "Who is it?" Alfred asked, trying to see the caller ID. Arthur made sure he didn't see, and dashed off to a secluded place. Alfred simply sighed, and continued looking for more party snacks.

"Yes, Francis?" Arthur sounded partially annoyed, but also happy.

"I was just calling to say that Espagne and Prusse agreed to help me get into the party." Francis coughed slightly.

"Oh, okay. Let me know if that goes wrong, though." Arthur smiled, knowing that Gilbert and Antonio would not fail getting Francis in there.

"We are the Bad Touch Trio, afterall. See you later, hon? Au revoir!" Francis said.

"Au revoir!" Arthur mocked Francis' French accent, which made him laugh. Arthur quickly ran to find Alfred, who was checking out. He rushed over to him, and squeezed past a lady. "Don't be cutting the line, sir!" she hit him with a handbag. "But I'm with my boyfriend! I was just making an important call, wasn't I Alfred?" Arthur tapped him. Alfred simply nodded, whilst sipping what Arthur guessed was a milkshake. The lady backed down, just as Alfred was paying.

When the couple got home, it was around 4pm. Arthur had helped Alfred put everything away, and they then decided it was time for a little... 'them' time. Arthur silenced his phone, in case Francis tried to call again. Alfred pushed Arthur down on the bed, and took his shirt off. He crawled on top of Arthur, and peppered kisses down his neck. "It's been a while since you went down on me." Arthur pouted, and Alfred kissed him softly. "Come on, be Captain America and save a man's life." he winked. Alfred seemed reluctant, but simply cupped Arthur's manhood in his hand. He sighed, closing his eyes. He didn't move for a few moments. "Is everything okay? You're giving me a huge erection by cupping me, but not doing anything about it. That's not very gentleman of you." Arthur removed Alfred's hand, and sat up. He shifted to be sitting next to him, and put his arm round him. "What's wrong. You can tell your old man anything." Arthur winked. Alfred simply sat there, and didn't say a word. Arthur even went to go make some curly fries for him, he turned his nose up at them. "Where did Mr. Happy go?!" Arthur huffed, setting the fries to the side.

 

After about twenty minutes of Arthur pacing around the room naked, Alfred finally spoke. "I saw your text messages." he looked Arthur right in the eye. Arthur froze, he didn't even have time to say anything. "You've been flirting with Francis behind my back, huh?" Alfred stood up. "Wait. Alfred, it's not like that." Arthur began. "Then what is it like?! I don't understand this relationship you and Francis have! One minute you're fighting, then someone else gets involved and you both turn on them! I don't get it, Arthur! Explain it to me!" Alfred shouted. "I'll fucking explain if you shut up for twenty minutes!" Arthur huffed. Alfred simply sat there. "I did just shut up for twenty minutes. Now, explain." Arthur bit his lip. "Okay... Francis and I have been neighbours for a while now. As a young age, Francis always liked me. But he didn't want me to know, so he started treating me badly. I ended up treating him badly back, as a result and... we all know what we grew up to be." he sighed. "That doesn't explain why you're cheating on me." Alfred snapped. "Hey, I'm not cheating on you-" Arthur was interrupted by the door bursting open. There stood a clearly drunk Matthew with a drunk Francis' arm around his neck. Arthur grabbed the nearest thing to cover his penis, which just happened to be Alfred's spare boxers. "Angleterre, je suis totalement ne pas ivre!" Francis mumbled. "I don't understand you when you speak French, frogface." Arthur mumbled. "Francis and I just commenced the butt sex, eh?" Matthew belched, these very words made both Alfred and Arthur cringe. "Oh, so... you're a thing?" Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Good, you can bang Matthew but don't come anywhere near Arthur." Alfred crossed his arms. "Oh, Amerique! Tu es chaud shirt de moins!!" Francis giggled. "Can we get a translator?!" Alfred shouted. "I got one." Arthur pulled up an app named 'Best Translator 4 French Eva 10/10'. "Francis said 'Oh, America! You are hot shirtless!!'. Well, that's true." Arthur smirked. "S'il vous plait... Angleterre, Amerique, Canada... merde moi." Francis mumbled. "'Merde' does not sound good." Alfred gulped. Arthur typed it in. His eyes widened at the results. "Um... he says 'Please... England, America, Canada... fuck me'. I'm done." he threw his phone down on the bed, and threw Alfred's spare boxers into Matthew's face. "Screw all you wankers, I'm going to streak outside." With one last middle finger, Arthur ran out of the room. "Oh, Angleterre! Let me join you!" Francis ripped off his French flag boxers, and his rose. "Count me in!!!" Matthew shouted, taking his shirt and Canadian flag boxers off. Alfred sighed, shooing them both out of the room.  _What did I just witness? And that doesn't even explain why Arthur was cheating on me!_  He laid back. He sighed, and eventually drifted off into a light sleep.

He was awoken to someone brushing up against him. He looked around, and saw that Arthur, Francis AND Matthew were in the bed.  _This... feels weird. But also pleasently satisfying. Well, minus Matthew. No offense, bro!_  He looked over to Francis, who was hugging his side.  _Man, now I see why Arthur's into him so much... he's so cute when he sleeps!_  Alfred was tempted to wake them, but he was enjoying this far too much. He simply laid back, and drifted back off into a deeper sleep.

 

When Alfred woke up, it was the next morning. He awoke to an empty bed, and the entire room was clean. He sat up, and looked around. He got out, and made the bed. He rubbed his head, it hurt for some reason. Maybe he banged it on the headboard? He made his way downstairs, to see Arthur sprawled out on the sofa. "Arthur? What happened last night?" Alfred groaned. "Francis, Matthew and I streaked for a while. They were really drunk, and didn't really give a flying fuck. I threw them their stuff, and they ran home. I don't know, it was strange. Oh, they also said they had sex. But I called them both this morning, and they both confirmed that they didn't." Arthur ended his long talk. "You talk WAY too much, dude!" Alfred giggled, sitting on Arthur's lap. "Says the chatterbox." Arthur laid a kiss on Alfred's cheek. "I am NOT a chatterbox! I only talk when my opinion is needed. Like, during a world conference or something important like that. I never talk too much, always the right amount for the current situation. And did I mention I'm really hungry and might order something? Oh, also I'm planning on hiring a one-time maid to clean the house for the party." Alfred smiled, getting up. "And you said I talk way too much. The maid is a good idea, though. Go do all that." Alfred smiled. "Go be the Alfred we all know and hate. Love, I meant love." he smirked, and recieved a light slap on the arm. "Don't make me flush your tea down the toilet again." Alfred called, going to find his phone. "You wish!" Alfred called back, before going back to eating his scone and watching some British baking show. As if any of it tasted good! Arthur seemed to enjoy it, though.

Alfred, meanwhile, was rummaging through his bedside drawers for his phone. "There you are, you piece of technology!" he grinned. He knew all the best burger places to order from! And luckily, his brain was made with an extra part. The perfect place to store all the phone numbers! He dialled the one he fancied the most. "Hi, it's Alfred F. Jones. Your regular customer." he got excited, as ordering food was a great skill he had! He placed his usual order of 'five half pounders with salad, ketchup and mayonaise'. He then paced up and down the front room waiting for the door to be knocked on. "Is ordering food a turn on for you?" Arthur asked, out of the blue. "It so is, I swear." Matthew grinned. Alfred nodded. "It may be." he smirked. "Let me add it to my list, then." Alfred pulled out a notepad, and wrote down 'Turn-on 49: Ordering food'. Alfred heard a knock at the door, and he ran to answer.

"YES! THE FOOD IS HERE!" he yelled, opening the door. His emotion completely changed when he saw who it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the TERRIBLE French. It is from Google translate, I do not speak French fluently. I know a few words, but I am actually learning French right now so... power to me? Anyway, sorry for the terrible French.


	4. Tea Drinker Secure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feliciano is at Alfred's door and demands Arthur comes with him.

"Um, Feliciano... what a surprise?" Alfred seemed confused. Why was he at his door? "Um, Alfred... Is Arthur in?" Feliciano bit his lip. Alfred nodded, slowly. "Uh, Arthur. Come here a second?" he called. Arthur came running. "What is it?" he asked. "Arthur, you need to come with me." Feliciano sighed. Arthur nodded, stepping outside. Alfred grabbed his arm, though. "Be careful." he whispered. Arthur pushed him away. "Stop being so paranoid." he laughed, and began to follow Feliciano down the path... Alfred stood there, and he wanted to follow them. He stepped out, but felt a hand on his shoulder. "He'll be fine." Alfred turned around, it was Matthew. "Are you sure?" he sniffled. Matthew shut the door. "Pretty sure, Al. Come on, let's watch some hockey for once. Please?" he was practically begging. Alfred always refused to watch hockey, whether it was by himself or with Matthew. Alfred gave in, though, and went to sit down on the couch. Matthew turned on the game, and the two sat watching.

After about twenty minutes, Matthew's phone beeped. "Is that Gilbert by any chance?" Alfred snickered. "Shut up. I don't have a crush on Gilbert." Matthew blushed, but the blush soon disappeared when he read his texts. It was from Feliciano.

Feliciano: Tea drinker secure

Matthew: Okay I'll let Francis know ;)

Feliciano: Why are we doing this again?

Matthew: It's obvious, isn't it? Do you think Al really loves Arthur? No. He needs to be taught a lesson.

Feliciano: Isn't that a little bit cruel?

Matthew: If you don't want to be a part of it, then don't. Go crying to Ludwig or something.

Feliciano: I've never seen you act like this, what happened to you?

Matthew: What do you mean what happened to me? I'm fine.

Feliciano: Okaaaay then... bye

Matthew: Bye, pasta lover

Matthew lowered his phone, and looked over to Alfred. He looked over. "What are you staring at?" he asked. "Nothing." Matthew snickered. "Who were you texting?" Alfred grinned. "Nobody." Matthew put his attention back to the TV. Alfred sighed, putting his attention to the TV too. After a while, Matthew picked up his phone again.

Matthew: Arthur's in place

Francis: Merci, Matthew. You are a great help

Matthew: Yeah. Make sure you go in through the entrance I showed you, though

Francis: And if I don't?

Matthew: Listen, did we pretend to get drunk last night for nothing? No. Remember, this is my plan. You're just helping. Now go do what I TOLD YOU TO DO!

Francis: Something has really gotten into you, Matthew... I'll see you later

 

Meanwhile, Arthur was waking up slowly... he was laying on a stone, cold floor. His vision was blurry, but it was coming back to him... After a while, he managed to stand up. Where am I? He rubbed his head. He saw some sort of bars, on two walls. One side went into another cell, where he saw someone else... And the other side, there was at least three other cells. Maybe more. He couldn't make out who his 'cell mate' was. "Hello?" he called. The shadow stirred, and ran up to the bars. "Arthur! I have a lot of explaining to do, don't I?" It was Francis. "You certainly do..." Arthur sighed. "I may have made a promise with... Matthew. I told Feliciano to come and get you to throw you in this cell, temporarily, and then I'd come and we'd make sweet love." Francis sighed. "You could just ask me, you know?" Arthur twisted a corner of his mouth into a smile. Francis smiled, too. "Anyway... He told me to come here a specific way, and... it was booby trapped. I fell into this cell here. Matthew tricked me! Now we're both stuck here." he burst into tears. "If I could hug you, I bloody would." Arthur frowned. "Oh, Angleterre. I wish I'd never trusted that maple syrup freak!" Francis huffed, crossing his arms. "You're kinda hot when you're mad." Arthur winked, trying to cheer Francis up. "Silence, both of you." There was a voice, that was trying to sound 'tough'. "Is is me or is that voice-" Francis was cut off, with the person stepping out of the shadows. "Oh, lord." Arthur gasped.

 

"Okay, Matthew. I'm beginning to get worried! Arthur hasn't got back yet. What could of happened to him, dude?!" Alfred was panicking, seemingly to himself. "Feliciano is taking care of it." Matthew was talking on the phone. Alfred began to listen to his conversations a little closer. "What do you mean he's missing too?! No, I didn't do the same thing to him. He's probably gone running off somewhere!" Matthew growled. "Uh, Matthew. Who you on the phone to?" Alfred called. "Fuck. I'll call you back." Matthew hissed. "No, seriously. Who was that?" Alfred tilted his head. "Nobody. Now, if you don't mind me I have to go check on something." Matthew coughed, and made his way out. That... is strange. I've never seen Matthew act like that before. In fact, it's pretty scary. What was I going to do? Alfred's more 'important' thoughts began taking over. That's right! HAMBURGERS!


	5. Imprisonment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five others are thrown in the cells. Can you guess who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONHONHONHON. The madness continues.

"Feliciano?! Why are you here?" Arthur seemed surprised. "I brought you here, silly." Feliciano snickered. "Why are you doing this? This was not the plan!!" Francis growled. "I don't take orders from you, I only take orders from Matthew. Who's on his way." Feliciano grinned. "You pasta eating wanker! How will Ludwig react when he finds out you're doing this, huh?!" Arthur shouted. "Oh, we locked him up too." Feliciano smirked. "What is Matthew planning?" Francis asked. "That's top secret. Now, I leave you with entertainment." Feliciano grabbed the remote from his belt, and clicked it in. Arthur listened closely to the music that was playing. "Wait... this isn't-" he screamed, realising what it was. "What? What is it, Arthur?" Francis asked, not recognising it. "It's-it's... Alfred's karaoke party!!" Arthur fell on the floor, covering his ears in pain. The terrible singing started.

_But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain_

_And it's two a.m. and I'm cursing your name_

_You're so in love that you act insane_

_And that's the way I loved you_

_Breakin' down and coming undone_

_It's a roller coaster kinda rush_

_And I never knew I could feel that much_

_And that's the way I loved you_

"OH- THAT'S HORRIBLE." Francis exclaimed in pain. Feliciano snickered, and turned it off. He turned, and left. "Wait, wait. Arthur! ARTHUR GET UP!" Francis shouted. Arthur got up, rubbing his head. "Isn't Alfred throwing that party later? Matthew is gonna be there. What if he kidnaps more people?!" Francis panicked. Arthur slowly realised. "Who's invited, quick!" Francis flailed his arms. "Uh. Uhh. Alfred, me, Ivan, Roderich, Ludwig, Feliciano, Lovino, Antonio, Gilbert and Matthew." Arthur spoke as fast as he could. "Who out of those people is considered a threat?" Francis asked. "Matthew, Feliciano... just those two. But if Feliciano is involved, then Lovino must be-" Arthur was interrupted by someone shouting. "Get off me, Lovino! GET OFF!!" The voice sounded like Antonio's. "ANTONIO?!" Arthur shouted. "Arthur??" Antonio called back, as he was thrown into the cell opposite him. "Lovino, why?!" Antonio asked, gripping the bars tight. "I'm sorry, tomato bastard. They were orders from Matthew." Lovino sighed, walking off. "I thought you loved me!!" Antonio shouted. "I do... but orders are orders, Antonio." Lovino sniffled slightly, this was clearly affecting him. But he walked off, like nothing had happened. "Antonio, tell us everything you saw before you were kidnapped." Francis asked. "W-well... I saw Gilbert, he told me to go with him to the store for some beer... So I did. Next thing I know, he's lured me into a dark alleyway and the last thing I saw was Lovino's sorry face... then everything went black." Antonio burst into tears. "Hey, hey. It's okay. We're going to be okay." Arthur tried to comfort the both of them. "I'm just... tired." Antonio began to crawl over to the so called 'bed', which was just a piece of cardboard with a ripped blanket. Francis sighed, and decided to just pace up and down. Whereas Arthur laid down on his 'bed'...

 

Alfred was really, really worried. It was time for the party, and only Roderich, Gilbert, Feliciano, Lovino and Matthew had shown up. Ivan had cancelled at the last minute, but... Arthur, Ludwig and Antonio hadn't shown up. "Hey, um. Did you not bring Antonio?" Alfred asked Lovino. "No, he's busy today. Didn't end up coming." Lovino sighed. "Oh, I see... Feliciano, where did Arthur go?" Alfred asked. "He became really ill on the way, so I took him home." Feliciano sighed. "Matthew, can I have a word?" Alfred asked. "Sure thing, bro." Matthew grinned, following Alfred to the kitchen... not before giving the others a secret wink. "Seriously. What has gotten into you today?" Alfred sighed. "I'm worried about you, bro." he continued, frowning. "Don't worry about me, it's yourself you should be worried about." Matthew grinned. "What do you mean?" Alfred laughed slightly. "Oh, you'll see." Matthew grinned, as the doors burst open. Gilbert tackled Alfred to the floor, making his glasses fall off. "Ah! I can't see-" Alfred was then gagged by Lovino, and Roderich put a paper towel soaked in chloroform over his nose and mouth. Alfred soon fell unconscious. "Okay, get him to the dungeon." Matthew laughed maniacally, as Gilbert and Roderich carried Alfred's unconscious body off.

 

Arthur woke up to screaming. "Wha-?!" he jumped up. He got up just in time to see Alfred being thrown into the same cell as Francis. "Roderich?! Gilbert?!" Arthur was shocked. They ignored him, and walked back out. "Great. That's five of us now." Ludwig groaned. He had been moved to the cell next to Antonio. "What happened?!" Alfred jumped up. "Matthew locked us all up." Arthur sighed. "Matthew would never do something like that!!" Alfred gasped. "He tricked us all." Francis sighed. Alfred turned around. "W-why am I sharing a cell with Francis?!" he complained. "Why do you think? It's his way of punishing you." Ludwig sighed. "Why would Lovino do that? Why would Lovino do that? Why would Lovino do that?" Antonio was repeating. His knees were huddled to his chest, and he was rocking back and forth. "Hey, Antonio. It's gonna be okay. We'll find a way to get back at that twit." Arthur felt bad for him. "And why is Gilbert helping him? I thought we good friends. And I thought Lovino loved me." Antonio cried even harder. "Gilbert is helping him because they're dating. I read one of Matthew's diaries, they hooked up last week." Alfred sighed. "No, that can't be true. He would've told Antonio and I." Francis said. "Maybe they kept it secret. I mean... I've been keeping Italy and I a secret for... a year and a half." Ludwig confessed, and scratched the back of his head. "A year and a half?! How did I not find out about that??" Francis gasped. "Hey, it was our secret. He promised to keep it." Ludwig coughed. "And now he's turned on you, hm?" Arthur frowned. "NEIN! Italy would never! How dare you even suggest that! It's hypnotism! It's... it's... it can't be true." Ludwig sniffled. "Is Ludwig crying?" Alfred whispered to Francis. "Oui. I believe so." Francis whispered back. "I need some time to myself." Ludwig let out a long sigh, and sat himself down on the stone cold floor. "I think we all do." Arthur huffed. With that, mostly everybody went to an isolated corner of their cell. All except Antonio and Francis, who were just stood there contemplating.

 

"What do we do now they're all secured? What is the overall goal anyway, Matthew??" Feliciano asked. "Shut up, all of you." Matthew growled. The room fell silent. "To answer your question, the overall goal is not known yet." he sniggered. "But, you made us put our boyfriends in a cell. Where do they come into it?" Lovino crossed his arms. "Gil, we've come to the part of the plan that you've been most looking forward to." Matthew put his feet up, and crossed his arms. Gilbert nodded, pulling out a tazer and lunging for Feliciano. "Fratello!" he called, before falling to the floor. "You sausage bastard! Why did you do that?" Lovino shoved Gilbert, but he tazed him. Lovino fell to the ground. Gilbert turned to Roderich. "Hold on! We did not agree to this!" he said, putting his hands up. "There's no piano to express your anger at me now, is there?" Gilbert cackled. "Actually, there is." Roderich pointed to the corner, and dashing out the door while Gilbert was distracted. "No there isn't-" he realised. "Go on, you idiot! After him!" Matthew ordered, pointing to the door. Gilbert nodded, running through the door. Matthew groaned. Guess he had to do this himself... He grabbed a pair of disposable gloves, and stretched them over his hands. He took Feliciano's hands, and began dragging him down to the cells...

Feliciano was beginning to wake up. "M-Matthew?" he mumbled. Matthew shushed him. "Shut up, Feli." he hissed. The two of them heard chatter, and Matthew backed into the door. "MATHIEU! YOU CHEATING IDIOT! HOW DARE YOU! YOUR PÉRE DID NOT RAISE YOU LIKE THIS!!!" Francis shouted. Ludwig jerked awake. "Italy?!" he had a mixed emotion. Anger, disgust but... also happiness. Feliciano expected to be put in the same cell as Ludwig, but instead was dragged to Antonio. Matthew opened the door, ignoring the shouting from everyone else. He threw Feliciano in, and slammed it shut again. He locked it. "Don't worry. Lovino and Roderich will be joining you soon." he sniggered, before walking up to Francis and Alfred's cell. "And you, Al. The action will start soon, don't worry." he growled. "Matt, why??" Alfred shouted. "It will be revealed soon." Matthew cackled, and the door swung open. "I got Roderich, sir- I mean. Mattie." Gilbert stuttered. "Shove him in the cell with Arthur." Matthew began walking out, and Gilbert nodded. "Hey! You bloody wankers! Where do I come into this?!" Arthur called. Roderich was thrown into the cell, and Arthur caught him. "I would express my thanks to you, if I had a piano..." Roderich sniffled, and Arthur set him down. "Mattie told me to give you this." Gilbert passed a note to Arthur. He reluctantly took it. There was a message in what seemed to be MANY different languages. No word in the sentence was the same language. "What's this supposed to mean?!" he yelled. "Stop being a Britisch depp." Gilbert turned to walk out. "Mach es dir selber." Ludwig yelled. "Schwanz!" Gilbert turned to yell at Ludwig. "Scheisskopf!" Ludwig yelled back. Gilbert growled, but walked out and slammed the door. "Ludwig, I forgot you had language like that." Roderich began pondering. "What did he say?" Francis asked, interested. Alfred had been huddled in the corner ever since what Matthew said. "Well, he called Arthur a British idiot. I told him to go fuck himself, and he in turn called me a shithead." Ludwig laughed nervously. Feliciano was only half with it, but Antonio was trying his best to get him to wake up. "Listen, everyone. I know I'd usually say I'm the hero in situations like this but..." Alfred began, he stood up. "We're against Mattie and Gilbert here. A-and I know we all, most of the time, don't think Matt exists but... he's really got a dark side to him." he cleared his throat. "We still have no clear reason why he's doing this." Antonio had given up trying to wake Feliciano up. "Roderich, you were on the inside for a while." Arthur suggested. "Ugh, as if those blödes arschlochs told me anything." Roderich crossed his arms, pouting. "Then maybe Italy knows something..." Ludwig sighed, not wanting to believe it. "Yeah, dudes! He did lure Arthur down to the trap." Alfred grinned, before realising he was asleep. "Oh... you've been in bed with Feli before, right Ludwig?" he asked. Ludwig nodded, reluctantly. "Well then! Who's first up?" Alfred asked. "Me, of course... He tells me to never wake him up until there's at least one pasta ready." Ludwig sighed, going back to sit in the corner. "I just want to be alone, is that is okay with you all?" he put his head in his hands. "Okay, dude... if only this place had room service! We could, you know... order Feli some pasta." Alfred realised the stupid comment he had made. "Oui, because that is going to WORK isn't it?!" Francis yelled. "Don't start now, Frenchie." Alfred growled. "Oh, that is it!! I have had it with you, Amerique!" Francis huffed, taking a deep breather. "LISTEN UP YOU WANKERS! IF WE'RE GOING TO GET OUT, STANDING HERE ARGUING WITH EACH OTHER IS NOT GOING TO HELP!" Arthur shouted. This immediately woke Feli up. "Oh, thank God." Antonio sighed in relief. "Germany? Germany!" Feliciano ran up to the bars seperating he and Ludwig. "Italy, oh sweet Italy..." Ludwig clutched at the bars. "Okay, you can have all this hanky panky stuff later. For now, Feli. Please tell us what you know." Arthur sighed, ears open. "Hanky panky?" Alfred whispered, whereas Francis couldn't hold his laughter in. "Shut up, frog!" Arthur yelled, and Francis immediately stopped laughing.  
Feliciano had told them everything, and now they were attempting to decipher this message that was given to Arthur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs Included:  
> That's The Way I Loved You - Taylor Swift
> 
> Again, sorry for the TERRIBLE German and French.
> 
> Oh, and I know Canada wouldn't usually act like this. But I wanted to make him have a tougher personality in this story.


	6. Escape!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team decipher the message, with interruptions all over the place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one or two chapters left, enjoy!

The message read 'Amérique, tú nicht amore England. Tu justo sagen voi do. Longue vivir Kanada!'. Alfred and Arthur recognised the English parts, since they were the only words he spoke out loud. "Oh, come on. I'll see if there's any German." Roderich said, snatching the paper. "Nicht, sagen and Kanada? Is that it?! Could've used a little more German." Roderich went into the corner and began sulking. Arthur snatched the paper back. "Ludwig, what do those words mean?" he asked. "They mean don't, say and Canada." Ludwig replied.

"Having any luck?" they heard a bit of shuffling, and the door swung open. "YOU'RE A BASTARD! A MAPLE BASTARD!!" Lovino yelled. Matthew began to cry, and dropped him. Lovino got up, and scanned around the room. It was still blurry, but he could make out the figure of Antonio and Feliciano. "Fratello!" he called. "Lovi!" Feliciano smiled wide. Lovino ran to the lock. "I can't get this open." he tried to fiddle with it, but it was no use. "Lovino! Watch out!" Antonio yelled, and Lovino turned. Matthew had hit him unconscious with a hockey stick. "Matt-" Alfred began. "No, you know what. I pledge alligence to Matthew Williams and the power for which he stands!" he yelled. "What are you doing, you diabetic idiot?!" Arthur yelled. "Oh, Alfred. I could let every one of these people out except you. You still haven't figured the note out yet?" Matthew smiled sickly. "No, we're still figuring it out." Alfred replied, standing awkwardly.

The door flew off it's hinges. "WHO CAPTURED AMERIKA?!" it was Ivan. "IVAN! GET US OUT, I DEMAND IT!" Ludwig shouted. "Well, well. Ivan Braginsky." Matthew gritted his teeth. "Biggest country on earth. NOBODY EVER REMEMBERS THE SECOND BIGGEST, DO THEY?!" he yelled, pushing past Ivan and bursting into tears. "He's really sensitive about that, isn't he?" Arthur mumbled. "He's sensitive about fucking everything!" Alfred swore. "Watch your mouth, young man." Arthur huffed. "Shut up, you old fart. Now, Ivan. Get us out. Please?" Alfred sighed. "Oh, sweet Amerika." Ivan began to bash the lock with his metal pipe. Arthur began to ponder why he had just called Alfred 'sweet Amerika'. Did they have a history or something? "Sorry, big guy, but I don't know if you noticed, but. Alfred and I are together? So, do you think you could stop calling him 'sweet Amerika'. It's rather disturbing." Arthur scowled. "Dude, Arthur. Ivan's my ex boyfriend." Alfred stared him down. "Your what?" Arthur pretended he didn't just hear that. "Like Francis is your ex, Ivan's my ex." Alfred explained. "Why do you need to bring moi into this conversation?!" Francis shouted.

"WHO MADE BIRDIE CRY?!" Gilbert yelled. "Gil. He's just sensitive." Alfred sighed. Ivan stopped beating the lock. "It's no use. Oh, privet Gilbert!" he put on a childish smile, turning to face the German. "And why are you here?" Gilbert gritted his teeth. "Oh, I came to visit Amerika!" Ivan smiled wider. "Not on my watch." Gilbert took a swing at Ivan, who blocked it. "You seem to forget I am the country of Russia." he raised his metal pipe. "Wait- wait. We can sort this out-" Gilbert pleaded, but Ivan hit him as hard as he could with his pipe. He was knocked out cold. Ivan searched his pockets, and guess what he found? "The keys to the cells! You rule, Ivan." Alfred cackled. Arthur was still getting over the fact that Ivan was Alfred's ex. "Oh, I see help has arrived. I was softly humming to myself in the corner, surprised nobody heard it." Roderich came out of the shadows. Antonio was comforting Feliciano, as he couldn't take his eyes off Lovino's unconscious body.   
"Listen, you guys seem to have forgotten the note." Ludwig said. "Oh, right. Let's decipher the Spanish next." Arthur turned to Antonio. He began to try to read out the Spanish words, failing completely. "Oh, Arthur. Tú, justo and vivir mean you, just and live." Antonio replied. "So that makes the message... Something, you don't something England. Something just say something do. Something live Canada." Arthur sighed. "Is there Italian?" Feliciano asked, sniffling. "I believe so..." Arthur began to speak terrible Italian. "Amore, love. Voi, you." Feliciano answered. "Something, you don't love England. Something just say you do. Something live Canada." Arthur read out. "And the French? I got this." Francis winked. Arthur had lived with Francis for a while, so he knew some French words... not all. He began his semi-okay French speaking, and Francis laughed. "Amérique means America. Tu means you. Longue means long." he replied. "So... America, you don't love England. You just say you do. Long live Canada." Arthur read it all out. "How dare he." Alfred growled.

"Guys, did you figure it out yet-" Matthew walked in. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO GIL?!" he began crying again. "I put him to sleep! He was tired." Ivan smiled. "Give me those keys... please?" Matthew made puppy dog eyes. "You don't know how to be evil very well, do you?" Alfred sighed. "Shut up, Al! I'm the evil genius now a-and..." Matthew fell to his knees. "Should I take him out while we have the chance?" Ivan asked. "No, I need answers first." Alfred sighed. "Bro. Why are you doing this? Just tell me." he asked. "I-I felt something weird today... a-and. I suddenly had all of these evil t-thoughts..." Matthew sniffled. "Oh, wait." Alfred began thinking. "OH. OH NO. MATTIE DID YOU DRINK MY OUTDATED MAPLE SYRUP?!" Alfred yelled. "I... can't remember." Matthew pondered. "I quote... 'WARNING: Drinking this maple syrup outdated may lead to becoming an evil crazy Canadian." Alfred began crying a little. "Oh, Al! What have I done?!" Matthew shouted, running out. "You're not serious, are you?" Antonio asked. "Of course not, I just said that to get him to leave. Now, Ivan. The keys." Alfred ordered. Ivan nodded, and began unlocking everybody's cell. They all began to run out, except Antonio. "Guys, what about Lovino's body?!" he yelled. No reply. He sighed, picking him up. "I love you, Lovi." he mumbled, carrying him out.

 

Back at Alfred's house, everyone was sat in silence. Except Arthur, who was in the bathroom. He looked into the mirror. "Why am I not suitable for anyone?" he sighed. He turned the taps on, and filled his hands with water. He splashed it all over his face, trying to relax himself. He had forgotten to lock the door behind him, and it slowly opened. But who was it?

Arthur couldn't tell until they pulled him into a kiss.


	7. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur can't choose, so Francis has a solution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done. It's done. It's done. Thank lord. I can focus on my other Hetalia fics now. WOO!

It was Francis. Arthur remembered the soft lips, and the- wait. FRANCIS?! Arthur pulled away. "Frog, what are you doing here?" he snapped. "I was thinking you could use a little company while your little Amerique is catching up with little Ivan." Francis winked. "Francis. I can't choose." Arthur said, looking down at the floor. "Then you do not have to choose! Go downstairs and get Amerique. Tell him I'll be in his room." Francis walked out, and toward Alfred's room. Arthur was dumbstruck. What?

He did no less than what Francis had told him, and told Alfred to meet them up in his bedroom when he'd finished speaking to Ivan. Alfred seemed confused, but went with it.

"So, how is it with Arthur?" Ivan asked.

"Oh, you know. Tea this, tea that. Scone this, scone that. Sarcasm this, sarcasm that. Etcetera, etcetera." Alfred laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head.

"Oh, I see. Well, I must attend to my own matters. Proshchay, Alfred." Ivan got up, and left. No further questions, or speech.

Alfred sighed, seeing this as the time to go and see what Francis and Arthur wanted...

 

He walked into his room, and saw a sight he wished he never saw. Francis was sucking on England's nipple, and the both of them were completely naked. Alfred slammed his door. "Arthur?! What are you doing, dude??" he yelled. "Alfred, please come join us..." Arthur moaned. "No way, dude! You're obviously too busy with Francis." Alfred turned to leave. "Oh, Amerique. Stop being so stubborn. Come lay with us, even if you don't want to take off your clothes." Francis called. Alfred turned back. "You realise we have GUESTS downstairs." he said. "Oui, I told Espagne to keep them distracted." Francis winked. "Please, Alfred... I love you both. Come and at least sit with us." Arthur made puppy dog eyes, and Alfred couldn't resist. "Fine, but I'm only taking my shirt off." he said, ripping it off. He threw himself between the two, and they put their arms around him. "So... what are we doing now?" he asked. "Well, I was going to suggest we have sex." Francis smirked. "But that's too far, isn't it?" Arthur twirled his fingers around Alfred's cowlick. "W-wait. D-don't touch-" Alfred stuttered, and his erection rose. "What I want us to do... is lay here, teasing each other. First one to crack and do something sexual loses." Arthur cackled.

Francis stretched his leg over Alfred's to try and poke Arthur's manhood. "No, your feet are cold. Stop it." Arthur said, sternly. Alfred giggled, and began running his hands around Arthur's chest. "Oh, Francis is SO going to lose." he teased, looking over to the French nation. "Oh? I am going to lose? Non, Amerique. You seem to have forgotten I am the country of love." Francis bit down on Alfred's earlobe. "Exactly. You'll be first to crack." Alfred moaned, Arthur was now grinding himself against his side. "Grinding isn't technically sexual, is it?" Arthur asked. "Non. Not really." Francis replied. "So, Amerique. Imagine this. You are strapped to the wall, chained even. Mon dieu, tu est tres beau..." Francis moaned at the thought. "Uh, dude what?" Alfred asked, confused at the French. "I said you are very beautiful. Learn your French, Alfred." Francis twisted his cowlick between his hands, making Alfred hiss and moan. "Now, now Francis. Don't scare the poor boy." Arthur laughed, and Francis joined in.

Alfred was feeling humiliated, and was just waiting for someone to walk in... not that it happened. "Is kissing considered sexual in this case?" he asked. "Oui." Francis replied, Arthur nodding in agreement. "I might just lose, then." Alfred said, rolling his eyes. "Who would you kiss, Alfred?" Arthur asked, curious. "You, of course..." Alfred's breathing pattern went out of wack, and he began breathing faster. His heart was almost beating out of his chest, and he just had an urge... to find out what it was like. He snapped, grabbing at Francis. "Onhonhonhon, Alfred loses!" he sniggered, going in to snog Alfred on his lips. "Alfred Foster Jones!" Arthur yelled, pulling him off Francis. "Don't use the F word!" Alfred protested. "Angleterre! Loosen up, hon? Amerique was clearly having fun." Francis said, kissing Arthur on his cheek.

The three were not emotionally, physically or mentally prepared for what happened next. "Why are you three in bed together..?" asked a timid Matthew. "OH, BRO! HEY, DUDE!" Alfred scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "I just came to say goodbye, but... now I'm curious." Matthew coughed, and came to sit on the bed. "Well. It is awkward to see your very own pére naked, hon? I shall be leaving, au reviour!" Francis got up, and legged it. God knows where his clothes were. "Mon dieu..." Matthew sighed. "And what about you two?" he asked. "No, what about you?! What got into you today, you maple git??" Arthur yelled. "That maple syrup! I'm so glad the effects are gone now, though." Matthew grinned, dancing around the room. "Bloody hell... okay, well. Make sure you check the label next time." Arthur sighed, completely remembering he was naked. "OH, I AM SO SORRY MATTHEW!" he yelled, legging it out the door.

Alfred sighed. "Bro, never do this again!" he said, embracing Matthew in a hug. "Um... can you let go?" Matthew's timid voice just made Alfred cling on tighter. "Al! I'm choking here." Matthew tried his best to pry Alfred off, but to no avail. "There is no way I am ever ignoring you again, okay bro?" Alfred sniffled, finally releasing him. "Anyway, um... I'll be going now." Matthew said an awkward goodbye, and walked out. Alfred fell back, on to his bed. Wow, what a day.

 

America and Canada

Oh, and Alfred lied about that promise he made to Matthew. "Wait, who are you?" he asked. "I'm Matthew, your brother." Matthew sighed, knowing he wouldn't have kept that promise. "OH! Of course. The guy who kept us all locked up in a cell!" Alfred sighed. After two months he was still butthurt about it.

 

North Italy and Germany

As for Feliciano and Ludwig, the two had spent more and more time with one another since what had happened. The two were emotionally strengthened, but it still terrified them whenever they went to ANY place with a guy called Matthew Williams in it.

 

Spain and South Italy

Antonio and Lovino were doing great, actually. Lovino still apologised for the situation, saying that Matthew had used some sort of mind control. Antonio laughed it off, telling him that's only what happens in American movies.

 

~~ ~~ England and France

Whereas Arthur was still happy with Alfred, Francis was still jealous. He and Alfred were a little closer now, and he kept his jealousy to himself but... it was still super awkward when all three were in the same room. They didn't speak much of the incident that happened after the... incident. But, although Arthur and Francis weren't official... Francis still had his ways.

 

Austria and Prussia

Roderich had forgiven Gilbert, and the two were on friendly terms now. Gilbert had agreed to wingman for Roderich at any place they went to, saying he'd scope out 'all the hotties at the scene'.

 

Russia

And Ivan? He really didn't play a role of any importance, but I'm adding him to this part because he'd probably beat my face in with his metal pipe if I didn't... so yeah, Ivan's pretty good. Uh. Still hiding from Natalia, that kind of thing...

 

And that concludes our tale. Most things ended on happy terms, even if some people aren't completely satisfied.

 

Francis would have to learn to live with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for butchering that ONE Russian word. Thanks Google Translate...


End file.
